Hey, y’all! I’ve been re-watching all the seasons of Psych for the past few weeks (because I have a free Amazon Prime trial and I’m obviously using it wisely), and I had this random idea to create my own mashup of incorrect Six of Crows quotes based on the show’s dialogue.
I think it mainly stemmed from reading actual Six of Crows quotes while the show was on in the background, and I realized Shawn Spencer and Jesper Fahey are almost the same person. I’m not sure if anyone will find this as amusing as I did while putting the quotes together, but I’m posting them anyway!
Wylan: Are you crazy?
Jesper: I wouldn’t say crazy. Maybe an eccentric who looks good in jeans.
Pekka Rollins: You believe in karma, don’t you?
Kaz: Yes, but that’s only because we are karma chameleons.
Jesper: We come and go.
Kaz: Well, that’s a stupid house to rob.
Nina: Does anyone live up to your expectations? Maybe we should get the robber’s phone number, so you can call and tell him how disappointed you are.
Jesper: Come on, let’s hug it out.
Matthias: I would rather learn to play the harp.
Wylan: Don’t touch that, it’s blood.
Inej: It’s not blood.
Wylan: Ok, enjoy your hepatitis.
Matthias: I’m not mad; I’m happy, I’m thrilled. I love looking like an idiot.
Nina: That explains your shoes.
Jesper: I have a foolproof plan that solves the problem and gives us all the credit.
Inej: What is it?
Jesper: Actually, all I have is the phrase “I have a foolproof plan.” Beyond that, I’m wide open.
Matthias: I need to get something off my chest.
Jesper: Is it your shirt? Please say no.
Nina: Do you have any idea who would want to shoot you?
Kaz: A lot of people want to kill me. I take great pride in that.
Wylan: How can you tell that someone’s a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming that their pants aren’t on fire.
Matthias: How do you eat when there’s a dead guy just lying there?
Nina: What, is that rude? Am I supposed to share?
Kaz: Are you in my apartment?
Inej: Please. I haven’t snuck into your apartment for weeks. Which reminds me, we’re all out of peanut butter.
Matthias: What part of “stay put” is confusing to you?
Nina: The “put” part. I wasn’t “put” in the first place, Matthias. The whole expression is a complete disaster.
Inej: If I start to get sucked in again, stop me.
Jesper: Just call me the suck-stopper. No, wait. Don’t ever call me that.
Kaz: You have to wake up to the real world—people have sex and kill each other. That’s the real world. Not some magical “feelings” place.
Nina: Don’t you see what’s happening here? We’re pawns in a bitter family feud.
Jesper: I am nobody’s pawn, Nina. I’m a queen.
Kaz: I don’t lose things. I place things in locations which later elude me.
Inej: That’s the same thing as losing them.
Kaz: Maybe to those without the nuance chromosome.
Wylan: You’re acting like a child, Jes.
Jesper: I AM NOT ACTING!
Matthias: If I had learned how to laugh as a child, I would right now.
Jesper: Oh, yeah? Well, I’ve got an ice-cold can of whoop-ass just sitting in that fridge!
Inej: Actually, it’s diet whoop-ass.
Kaz: First question. What is your name?
Wylan: There’s a murderer on the loose!
Kaz: That is not your name.
Inej: Are you alright?
Jesper: Yeah, of course, I am. Why?
Inej: Well, we got the message that you were at the hospital. Something about life and death.
Jesper: Oh, right, that. Well, we are in a hospital and, as it happens, it’s filled with both life and death.
Wylan: I knew I should have left that message.
Kaz: Do not get up there and start winging it! That’s not how we operate.
Jesper: Dude, where have you been for the last two years?
Jesper: Before we get started we always like to ask a few preliminary questions. Standard stuff.
Matthias: Okay, fire away.
Jesper: Okay, um, let’s see. One: Did you kill that guy?
Jesper: You know I’m not really a regular person, right?
Wylan: What does that mean?
Jesper: Because, I tried once and failed. I’m just too unique and interesting.
At first, I thought I would do a bunch of different books with these Psych quotes, but I had too much fun with the Dregs! Maybe the next time I watch a comedy show, I’ll focus on a different book series. I have a feeling Shades of Magic, The Lunar Chronicles, Red Rising, and The Raven Cycle could be good ones!
What do y’all think? Do you find incorrect quotes funny? I could scroll through them all day!